Today I was told I have to have surgery, there are no other options. Despite me saying that surgery is not possible with my life circumstances, this doctor gave me no options, no try a different medicine for the time being to provide some relief…nothing. Yet I’m told we need to open my nose up and heal when I will come straight home and not be able to rest? That sounds like a GREAT plan.
My nose has an extremely deviated septum. Half the foods I eat, I can’t even taste. It’s a potential cause for my headaches. But either way not being able to breathe without force sucks. My face constantly feels on fire with pressure. I always feel the need to blow my nose but I can not. My life is hell and this is just one of many adding up to it.
I do not have a strong support system behind me. My “husband” won’t do anything to help make it easier for me. Despite knowing that I would be on strong restrictions and doing anything heavy would make for some potentially BAD complications it wouldn’t matter. You can’t exactly heal when you have to stress about the piled up laundry, the dishes in the sink, and the cat box that would never get touched while I’m done.
I told the doctor today it’s not possible for me to do this. I don’t come from a family where everyone would drop everything for me. I’ve grown up alone and nothing has changed being married. I’ve made sacrifices for everyone around me but yet, Jenna doesn’t exist when I need to do something to get ME better. The scheduler got lippy with me when I said I can not schedule this. Is she going to come stay at my home and take care of things? Yeah, didn’t think so.
I should add I do have people willing to help me but I feel like a total pain in the ass to them. My cousin Lindsey is already driving me to Iowa City for my trigger points and Tanya is willing to come up for surgery but, they shouldn’t have to do this for me…they already help me out more than I can ever thank them for.