I offered Jenna to guest post here while she was in the NICU with the boys. Obviously, that kind of fell by the wayside since the boys are home now! A little bit about me, I’m Cheryl and a mom to 2 little girls, Lauren who is 5 and Jillian who is 3. Also, my husband fits in there too. I have been lucky enough to guest post for Jenna before, but I do have my own space on the interwebs: http://beautifulsideofhectic.com. Over there, I mostly blog about my youngest daughter, Jillian who has cerebral palsy.
I was fortunate enough to spend 5 weeks in the NICU with Jillian. (Please insert sarcasm font!) I don’t think anyone really dreams about spending time in the NICU, in fact? Compared to some people ours was definitely a walk in the park. Our story begins on a dark and stormy night.Wait. No it doesn’t. It was a sunny September afternoon. In fact, it was the afternoon that Aubrey made her appearance into the world. This part is a little boring, so I’ll skip to the good stuff. (My water broke prematurely at 29 weeks, 3 days)
Jillian decided to work on her own schedule. September 8, she decided to dramatically make her way into the world. Adam and I were told that Jillian may not cry. That there were a team of doctors and nurses waiting for her. Being born at 30 weeks gestation gets everyone a little antsy. Jillian was born breech and screaming. My doctor lovingly showed me her butt (the way she came out) and away they went. I laid there helpless, sending Adam to go be with our newest precious girl.
The first 48 hours were the hardest. Jillian was placed on a ventilator approximately 2 hours after birth since she was struggling a bit to breathe. Once I managed to wiggle my toes, I got to see her. (That toe wiggling was purely mental. I was still drastically frozen.) By the time I got to see her, the only part of her I could touch were her toes.
After 24 hours, Jillian was downgraded to CPAP where she was on that for 12 hours. Apparently she was done with it and took it off herself. Although Jillian wasn’t especially sick, it was still one of the hardest experiences of my life. I happened to read her chart from the beginning about a week before Jillian was released. I’m so glad I didn’t read the first few days as they were happening. Apparently she would desat (drop oxygen levels) anytime anyone other than myself or Adam touched her. She was given rounds of medications to pick her heart rate up. If I had read those when they were happening, I probably would be in a hospital somewhere.
During our 5 weeks, they were pretty much easy going. Born at 3 lbs 9 ozs, her main goal was to eat and grow. Learn sucking techniques and all of that. Not to mention remembering to breathe while eating. It seemed like a really long battle. My days were long. Adam was only home for 3 weeks after Jillian was born and Lauren was only 19.5 months old. (I do realize I am lucky Adam had any time off at all) While Adam was home, I would spend most of my day at the NICU. Feeding, cuddling, waiting, etc. She was on a handling schedule every 3 hours, so I wasn’t allowed to just pick her up whenever I wanted to. If I had her out (to hold) and had to go to the bathroom, I had to wait another 3 hours to hold her again.
During her stay, I lost count at how many blood draws she had. How many IV’s had been placed. How many medical procedures completed. I expressed interest to be present for most of it, but I was told they don’t want parents to see treatment. Too bad since I just wanted to comfort my daughter. I arrived at the NICU one day, alerting me that Jillian’s eyes might be sensitive to light since she had an eye exam to check for ROP. I was quite upset since I had to find out about this procedure after it had already taken place. I felt that I could have used a heads up beforehand.
Emotions also ran high. Although Jillian never had a code blue called on her, if I heard one within the hospital, my heart would drop. I still get panicky feelings when I hear code blues. There was one day I arrived to find the nurse had already given Jillian a bath. I was SO upset! I felt like that was one of the typical “mommy” thing I could do for her. Not to mention the day I found the abbreviation “FF” in her chart. I had been actively pumping and the only way I knew “FF” was for formula feed. Her nurse was nowhere to be found, and I jumped to conclusions. I thought for sure she was given formula, when in fact it meant full feed.
After exactly 5 weeks in the NICU, on Canadian Thanksgiving Monday, we were called and asked if we wanted to bring a turkey home. That day was when my family felt complete. No monitors, no nurses, no temperature checks. We were finally home.