I still can not believe that five years ago I received a phone call that gave me one of the biggest blows to the heart. A blow that I still carry with me. I woke up thinking it was a phone call that my mom was coming to our house. I heard the break in her voice and she didn’t have to say the words, I dropped to the floor.
Grandpa was gone.
My rock. My protector. The one who could chew my ass out for whatever stupidity I had done but I still knew he was the one I could turn to. I could make a phone call to ask a car question, for directions “Jenna, you know how to get there, it’s by ____”.
I think about how life would be if you were still here Grandpa. I worry about Grandma. She misses her soul mate Grandpa. I can look at your “story” and you guys are another Johnny Cash and June. True Love Always.
I wish I lived closer so I could be around her all the time. She gets that sparkle in her eyes when I bring the kids to see her.
What would you think of the twins Grandpa? Man, I could only imagine how tickled you’d be by my boys and blown away by Kelsie and Aubrey. The last picture I have of you holding Aubrey and kissing her on the forehead sits directly in front of me in the living room. The forever reminder of unconditional love.
Without saying anything, the girls know who you are. They talk about “Great-Grandpa”. Some would say they were too young to remember you. I think them talking about you shows how much they know of your love.
I think about you every day Grandpa. No one will ever take your place. The other night when I was struggling, I just wanted to hear your voice again, feel your strong hand on my shoulder, I needed my hero.
The song from your funeral came on and I broke down crying. It was my sign you had my back. While I thought I was alone, it was a reminder that you were right there with me.
I love you with all my heart Grandpa. I still can’t say “Goodbye”. February 20th will never be the same without you.
We Love You Grandpa.