Last week, I was taken off of Cymbalta. My blood pressure was definitely in hypertension. I feel for my grandfather after experiencing the feelings I did. My ears ringing, feeling my entire body shaking and twitching, my eyes spasming-it was pure hell.
Today, Rheumatology and I talked to check on me. They told me we were going to start me on Savella, a new Fibromyalgia drug. I asked if it would be like Cymbalta and I need to monitor and be ready for the same thing to happen and they told me it’s a really rare thing and that every drug works differently. Well, No, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Savella and Cymbalta are the same type of drug. I am supposed to pick up the Savella on Thursday. I am terrified. I did my research and they work the same exact way in telling your brain how to respond to pain so aka, they’re gonna have the same side effects.
I feel lost. I am confused. I am scared. I thought finally having an answer to everything my body has been doing would make things easier. That I’d be able to get myself on the right track in dealing. Instead I am wrong. Way wrong. In the past two weeks, I have had 8 injections. My hips have bruises all over them from these shots. And ultimately, I am still in pain and left with little answers. It’s obvious my primary care physician does not want to acknowledge the Fibromyalgia diagnosis. Instead I am told how any of these meds. will sedate me and I am just sent off with “You need physical therapy”. I’m sorry but sending a person to physical therapy for any ailment doesn’t work. I’ve done physical therapy. I left crying, in pain, and ended up in the ER at the last appt. The physical therapist pushed my muscles to the point I was in agony. I never went back.
People are constantly criticizing. “You’re always at the doctor” “Jenna, you always have something wrong with you.” “Oh shut up, it’s all in your head.” It’s hard to admit you’re in pain when no one believes you. And that hurts. I hide when I am hurting because I get ridiculed. I get made to feel like I’m crazy. Having an invisible illness is one of the hardest things ever. If they can’t see it, it must not be real.
I just want to feel normal.