As a mom, I feel like I have always been proactive in doing things for my children. I’ve had experience with schooling and being 13 years older than my baby brothers, but I’ve always felt like I could always learn more. Whether reading research studies, looking into programs that might give me better insight, etc., I have had many come to me when needing help finding something for their family.
With Nathan and Lucas being premature twins, I knew I needed to stay on top of things. I had no problem calling up our doctor and saying I think we need to look at _____. While we had Early Access from the boys being in the NICU, I learned to not be afraid to ask questions and even, question if more was necessary.
As we’ve continued our journey, I’ve learned that sometimes finding resources can be extremely hard. Sometimes it feels like you are literally moving in circles. I can not count the times I was referred to call one person that was the person I had already been on the phone with. IT SUCKS. Even when you have a spouse that is going through it all with you, it is easy to feel alone.
Several friends have had to fight for their children. Whether fighting to find the right diagnosis, the right programs or interventions to help, I know how exhausting it can be. I’ve gotten emotional during meetings, I’ve found myself at times yelling for my children, and there have been times where I’ve just had to sit down for a moment alone and cry.
When it comes down to it, I know I have fought hard and it is showing in my children’s progress. I’ve seen friends not afraid to ask questions or voice if they disagree with how something is approached. You are the parent and you do know what is best for your children.
I hope that in everything we have gone through, I can help other parents to know that they are not alone. If I can help someone in finding resources or even just knowing they are not alone, I will do it.
Things I’ve Learned in Proactive Parenting
- Ask Questions
- It’s Okay to Disagree with a Doctor, Therapist, School. Bring facts to why you disagree.
- There will be many resources that feel like dead ends.
- DON’T GIVE UP
- Get Involved. If there are chances to participate, take them if you can.
- Stop the Parent Guilt. It’s normal to ask “What if?” but does it really get us anywhere?
- Remember you are their number one advocate
You’ve got this.