What is Wrong With Me?

What is Wrong With Me? 1For almost 3 1/2 years, I have dealt with god knows how many headaches. I’ve had gobs after gobs of medicines prescribed to me, ER trips connected to IVs, you name it. I want to know what is wrong with me. I’ve been through a ton, more than I could write in one post but I’ve had enough of things just thrown at me to “See if this works” instead of getting to the root of the problem.

From being doped up on “Migraine Preventatives” that I could not even finish a sentence without losing my train of thought, I am now so easily distracted I do get mid sentence and become distracted by what someone else is saying or I have a complete brain duh and call the girls by the wrong name a little too often. I am 23 Years Old…how is this fair?

After talking to friends online and those that see me on a regular basis, I decided to go back to my doctor with a question, “What is the chance this is fibromyalgia?” I get headaches, if my body doesn’t hurt, I’m tender. I just don’t move as fast as I used to. I’m always tired but yet can’t get a real sleep (usually because I wake up uncomfortable or I hurt too much to sleep). It seriously sucks. And yes, I’m probably “depressed” but who wouldn’t be going through something like this.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition causing pain, stiffness, and tenderness of the muscles, tendons, and joints. Fibromyalgia is also characterized by restless sleep, awakening feeling tired, fatigue, anxiety, depression, and disturbances in bowel function. Fibromyalgia was formerly known as fibrositis.

On Friday, I will be seeing a Rheumatologist to rule out fibromyalgia. Can I admit that I’m scared? I’m scared of once again coming up with “Let’s just try this pill again.” I’m afraid of actually getting that diagnosis after hearing lots of stigma but at the same time, I would feel relief to finally somewhat understand what my body is doing to me.

I’ve had a hard time dealing with my school. I LOVE what I do but when you are in a program based on hours of attendance-it doesn’t work out to0 well. I am on a waiting list for vocational rehab. I figured I would atleast check it out and see how they could help me get back to being me but with budget cuts, I don’t even know how long that waiting list is. School is sick of me and my doctor appts. I work hard but yet still feel like I’m falling short. Have you ever just felt like you could never succeed no matter how hard you might try?

I want to be a young Mom that can actually get out and run around, pick up my girls without that wincing. I want to be able to FOCUS and get things done.

I just want to be me.

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  1. I love you, sweetie. I hope you know that. Thinking about you and seriously hoping you get some answers. xoxo
    .-= Cheryl´s last blog ..I know, Right?! =-.

  2. I get it. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at 21. My oldest was an infant. I’d been having issues for quite awhile, and then finally after I should’ve been back to “normal” postpartum, I was able to get my doctor to see things my way. I knew no one should be that sore or that tired, even having been pregnant and with a new baby. It just didn’t feel right. Listen to your gut, and be persistent.
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Proud of my Soldier =-.

  3. I totally understand what you’re going through. I was misdiagnosed for I believe a good 4 years before there was noticeably something wrong. I was so tired of “oh you’re depressed here take a pill”. The sad part was I started to believe I was depressed & really was no were close to being depressed. Just keep at them because you know your body best & no one can tell you how you feel. Doctors are good for making us believe what they want us to believe. Of course not all are like this or mean to be like this. As for the migraines it could be as simple as avoiding certain foods.
    .-= Tatum V´s last blog ..Toothbrush Hygiene Helper Review =-.

  4. You and me both! The worst part is not knowing WHAT is wrong. the first time I went to the ER they gave me Oxycodone…um yea like I can take that and take care of 3 children. UGh it sucks Jenna! I hope you get the answers you need and me too! I will be seeing the Rhuematologist next Wednesday. Keep me posted in case I miss your post after your dr appt!
    .-= Not So Average Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday, Whatever the Hell I want to Say Wednesday =-.

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