“Til death do us part” is a nice cliche, but the unfortunate truth is that not all marriages make it that far. Statistics show that in the United States alone, 40 – 50% of marriages will end in divorce.
For many people, the marriage drags on long after it’s actually over. There are visible signs that the union has deteriorated to an unfixable state, but both sides ignore the obvious details until there is too much resentment and anger to continue.
If you’re in a tough season of your marriage, here are 6 signs to help you determine if your marriage is just in tough waters or is actually falling apart and you need help.
Spiraling Marriage Troubles
1. Regular arguing – While it’s common to disagree in any relationship, those disagreements should result in discussions, not arguments. If you and your spouse are regularly arguing about both little and big things, there may be a more serious problem than the actual topic of the argument.
The problem often becomes that arguments turn into fights. Neither party wants to leave because they are comfortable, but suddenly a simple argument becomes dangerous. If your marriage is headed in that direction, you should consider checking out your rights. It’s as easy as searching “divorce lawyers London” or whatever city you live in.
2. Lack of effort – Marriages take work for them to last. Life is a series of ups and downs, and in order for your marriage to withstand the downs, you need to put effort into it.
If you or your spouse are disconnected and not making any effort to stay close to the other person, there’s definite trouble in paradise.
3. Negative thoughts intrude – At a minimum, you should feel comfortable with your spouse and want good things for them. At best, you want to make them happier than you are. But when negative thoughts and feelings intrude when you think about your partner, there’s a problem.
Common feelings that spell a spiraling marriage are resentment, anger, and ill-wishes. Because it can be so difficult to decide to break up a marriage and a family, the “injured” party becomes bitter towards the other person, blaming them and their actions for the need to consider divorce.
4. The romance is dead – The honeymoon period in a marriage is usually short-lived before reality intrudes. This is fine, as long as the two of you work to keep the romance alive.
But when it is well and truly dead and you – or your partner – don’t care, it may be time to face the truth that your marriage needs help.
5. Growth is not together – There is one main truth in life’s purpose – you are supposed to grow throughout it. It’s almost a guarantee that you are not the same person when you got married as you are today, and neither is your spouse.
But there are stages throughout a marriage in which you are supposed to grow together. You should continue to become better people at a similar rate, growing in the same direction. If one or both of you has grown in the opposite direction, there’s danger to your relationship.
Is Your Marriage in Trouble?
The worst thing to do if your marriage is suffering any of these signs is to bury your head in the sand. Eventually, these signs will be obvious and you won’t be able to ignore them.
Before it becomes unfixable, try to get help. But if it is unfixable, be sure you know your rights and options if you are heading towards a divorce.