My day has been awesome. I made myself get up and go back to the Wellness Center in our town and work out and doing so, I ended up feeling amazing. More awake, more alert and then boom. Nope, sorry, you suck Jenna.
I have Adult ADHD. Weeee right? Shiny penny. Purple chicken. On top of everything else I face with fibromyalgia, it just flat out blows. I make fun of myself about it (sarcasm is my coping skill). I had finally got on a medication that worked before I got pregnant with the twins. I was soooo proud of myself. I was doing good in college, I was getting things done without jumping from one task to the next, I was proud of what I was doing and I could feel the difference.
Obviously, while pregnant, it’s just not a medication you take. I didn’t want to hurt my little ones so it was stopped cold turkey. I again found myself distracted. Hey look, Jenna’s back to not getting things done like she needs to. It’s embarrassing. I’m ashamed that while I’m multi-tasking everything I do, something that should take 20 minutes top can turn into the whole day of me going back and forth between things.
This past Fall, I decided it was time to try again. With moving, I needed to find a new mental health doctor and get my butt in. We talked about it and she totally understood everything I was telling her. She got what I was going through. She told me we were going to wait a month and see how I was doing with my other meds and then we’d start the ADHD meds again.
I saw her last week. I still don’t have my ADHD meds. I’ve been patient, trying to jump through the hoops to do what I need to do. It doesn’t matter. Insurance says I have to wait for this, that, and the other thing to happen (Maybe the insurance needs some Ritalin?) I finally just said “Well, I give up. I sure hope someone does what they’re supposed to do as I give up. If it gets figured out, be sure to let me know I can go get my medicine. Until then, I’m done fighting for it.”
I want to go back and finish college.I know I can’t be my best without the meds. While I might not be able to be a police officer now with my chronic pain issues that have slowed me down, it doesn’t mean I can’t keep going or even switch my degree to something like marketing since I have found a passion for blogging. I don’t want to be a college dropout.
I want to succeed. I want to make my family proud. I want to be somebody.
9 Comments
Thanks for sharing your party. I feel a little less nobody and more like a somebody knowing we both stumble along.
I have a sickness that I feel is holding me back too. It really can be super frustrating at times, and I really have zero advice. I just can relate. IT SUCKS.
I started reading the Happiness Project a few days ago hoping that it will at least help me keep positive. I hope the insurance gets a move on those medicines.
I dont have ADHD as a diagnosis but I swear sometimes i just cant do anything…i move a lot, just do nothig. But lately i have been wanting to kill my son. Does waterboarding work at 18 months? LOL
trisha
I feel like that picture you have on there all the time. More so since I’ve been a mom. My to do list is never ending and I always feel like I’m going to miss something from the overload.
Adult ADHD is not something you hear much about. Kudos and I look forward to learning more through you.
It definitely is that of taboo. A fellow family member was not diagnosed until he was 33.
I have a few close friends with the diagnosis. One of them has a graduate degree. Don’t give up.
As far as myself, I always seem to take forever to get anything done & am easily distracted. Guess I have a touch of it myself.
Sorry to hear about your troubles, Jenna. Why is your doctor waiting so long to try ADHD meds? Is it 100% insurance-related? You’ll get there, just be patient! Keep thinking positive thoughts and just know that the entire medical insurance industry (for physical and mental) is a total frustrating mess. 🙂
We’re dealing with insurance now and miscommunication between doctor, pharmacy, insurance. Instead of contacting one another, it’s me getting told I need to tell so and so….but then I need to tell so and so that ____.