Fighting to Keep my Twins Together in School. *Updated*

identical twin boys dressed as Avengers

It is hard to believe but in January, when the boys turn three, it is proposed they enter public preschool for their speech delay. Little did I know the “battle” I’d be facing on top of this decision.

Since the twins were born, I’ve always stood to the fact I wanted the boys in the same classroom until they themselves decided they wanted to be separated. Now with the idea of them entering school at only THREE, I definitely stand tall in wanting the boys to stay together. Right now, they learn from each other, sometimes even when I’m showing them over and over again something, they truly pick up the skill from the other. They are too young to be torn apart into separate classrooms. 

identical twin boys dressed as AvengersIn states other than Iowa, there are laws that give parents rights to make decisions such as this. In Iowa, nothing exists to protect the rights of parents of multiples. In a world where we acknowledge parents are the number one educators of today’s children, WHY are the parent’s requests for accommodation ignored.

Yesterday, it was compared to parents asking for this child and this child to be in the same classroom because they go to the same daycare. THAT DOES NOT COMPARE TO TWINS IN ANYWAY.

The school acknowledges that they’ve never put twins in the same classroom. When I asked if you’ve never done it, you have no data to know, why would it hurt? If our primary goal is to get them talking and they learn from each other, why separate them and cause a traumatic experience?

I got no real answer besides twins are separated. But I could tell right then and there, they have no intentions of budging, no matter what I have to show them.

I’m not giving up. My children are my number one priority and it should be my right to keep my children together. Our number one goal remains to get them talking and if they are learning from each other how to sign and mimicking the other when it comes to words, how can separating help them?

If the school is unwilling to accommodate this request because they consider it a “special favor”, I don’t see how I can send my children to a school that doesn’t look at how they learn. I know my children best.

All parents know their children best. It’s time for schools to respect that.

Please help us by checking out the following Petition

Studies Regarding Twins In Classroom

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  1. What an interesting dilemma! My school had a rule that siblings were not allowed in the same classroom in order to push them to interact with other kids. It never made sense to me – why force their separation? Why do they need to distance themselves from each other, develop new groups of friends separate from each other and so on. Who is to say that it’s psychologically a better option?

  2. This was interesting to read. I have two good friends who are both moms of twins (in different towns) and they both had to fight to separate their twins. Both moms felt their twins needed to be more independent and needed to be in different classes to blossom.

    1. These little guys are so funny because they are very independent of each other, personalities different as night and day but, when it comes to learning, I can truly say, Lucas picks up all communication skills from watching Nathan, whether it be signing, or mimicking a word.

      1. Wondering, do they think that’s why they are delayed? Because they try to communicate first with each other without consideration for others? Personally, don’t you think they should separate them for evaluation, they are two separate people after all. But I do sincerely respect that they have an intense bond. I support your choice to keep them together for school but have lots of curious questions about if they have more motivation to separate them then just “because.” Have you asked them about their intentions specifically? Sounds like Nathan leads and Lucas follows. I would imagine once they confirm that they will be able to work with the boys together again. Best of luck!

        1. The only answers I’ve gotten have been trust me, this is how we’ve always done it and that they’d lose a teacher if they put twins together. Little do they know that several of their teachers would love to have a set of twins in class. There was a meeting and their intentions were that this is the way they’ve always done it and if they allowed twins to stay together, they’d have to let parents request that friends be in a class together. Totally different, in no way a proper comparison.

          1. Boo to doing it that way because we always have done it that way. Change can be good! Good luck!!

          2. Agreed. There are so many things that have been said that I’ve kept “confidential” if you will but it’s gone too far and I’m not okay with what my little boys have been placed with.

  3. I signed the petition and shared with my friends. I think it is unacceptable that they are trying to disconnect this bond that the boys have.

  4. Wow! I remember in elementary school we had a few sets of twins and they were always in the same class unless requested that they be separated by the parent. I can’t understand why you would be denied the option to keep them together, especially with your twins being so young! As a former preschool teacher I feel that at that age, it would be more harmful than helpful to split them up. Just signed the petition!

    1. Thank you for your input and support! My daughter’s preschool had twins together, no questions asked. It’s nice to hear from someone that has experience.

  5. this is an interesting article. I know most folks with twins that don’t want them together once they hit elementary school. Good luck getting what you feel is best for your kids

  6. I had no idea there was a rule about twins in the same classroom. Seems silly to me. Good luck with getting your twins in the same classroom. Totally agree with you.

      1. That is what I am encountering right now. My district says its policy, but that policy is nowhere to be found. And when a teacher can have their own child in the classroom when there are multiple teachers in that same grade that aren’t related there is no policy to prevent that.

  7. hmm, I guess since I am not a mom of twins that I have never thought about it… I know that I like when my kids get the same teachers after each other as it helps them feel more comfortable, but that is all I can really add to it. I hope everything goes the way you want it to 🙂

  8. I hope they get to go to school together always. My son has triplets in his class (this year and last year) and they have a blast learning together!

  9. I don’t know the entire story but I personally wouldn’t send them to school if that’s the case. Have you thought about homeschooling and having a therapist come in and give them services a few times a week?

  10. I think there shouldn’t be an issue keeping them together. I for one am glad my kids are at least at the same school for once, haha. I understand your point of separating them, but it will be so much easier to ensure they both are being taught the same and are on the same level as well.

  11. I am always saying that we are the best advocates for our own kids. We see the “whole” kid while the schools only get a glimpse. Keep pushing to make sure your kids get the best education for the way they learn–I’m in a similar challenge myself. Best to you as you work to keep them together.

  12. i never knew some states actually had laws to protect parent interests for twins. Sorry your state doesn’t. Have you brought this up to the PTA and the school board itself?

    1. I’ve not to the school board but I’m a member of the PTA. I’m working with Department of Education based on some comments that were made that were discriminatory.

  13. I really hope the twins can stay together. Preschool can be scary and it would be nice if they could have each other as a comfort.

  14. I see no reason why the school should have a policy one way or the other. This type of policy is NOT addressing the needs of the child involved. It is a blanket policy based only on opinion. Signed the petition.

  15. This makes absolutely no sense to me as to why you would need to fight so hard for this. Good for you for sticking to your beliefs and passions… you can make this happen! Best of luck 🙂

  16. I’m thinking back to my childhood and I remember twins were always separated then too. I never really thought about who had made that decision though.

  17. I have personally known parents who have fought on each side of this argument. I do agree that parents know best.

  18. It’s funny how school teachers and authorities “think” that they know the child and psychology by reading a bit about them. NOTHING IS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF A CHILD THAN THE WORDS OF A MOTHER. I strongly feel that no such rule exists or should exist, you get the kids in school and as a parent you have some rights too. The school works because we pays for it, thats how they get paid.. It’s a job they do and not a service.. I respect education and teachers but not support irresponsible authority ..twins should be together unless there is no vacancy in the class .. I suppor you .

  19. I am sorry you are dealing with this. What I find interesting is that they actively seek to separate twins. I didn’t realize that schools would have policies regarding that.

    I do agree that moms (and dads) have instincts that shouldn’t be ignored. However, if you are unsuccessful, I sincerely hope that you remain positive. Even though they learn from one another… that doesn’t mean that they can’t find other kids from whom to learn, too. Don’t give up your fight, but don’t give up hope if the boys do end up in different classrooms.

    On another note, I think it is great that you have the opportunity to get the boys into the school-based preschool. Every program is different, but I know many kids who have benefited greatly from similar programs in our state. My oldest son didn’t attend the full preschool program, but he did have weekly visits with the speech therapist through our county’s preschool program, and it was a huge help.

  20. I have had nothing but problems with the Nevada School District. I would be happy to share with you the things I have gone through. The school basically forced me to pull my daughter out & home school her. She is only 8 years old and has gone through hell & back – at this point I have no idea if I will re enroll her in Nevada next year. Thought about selling my house & relocating – but who are they to force me to make the decision to move out of our home that I have been in for over 20 years. But, there response is always “trust us” – we are looking out for your childs best interest. NO THEY ARE NOT – THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!!! These are OUR babies.

  21. Wow, all I can say being here in Illinois is the school district that I have had my girls at for their entire school life I have 12 and 17 y/o has never had an issue with that. I just asked the 17 y/o and she said mum don’t you remember we had 4 sets of twin, 2 sets of triplets and there is the quads….. At some point they end up in the same classroom. Not a big deal…. Keep fighting, you will prevail….

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