Depression sucks.
That’s the simple way of putting it. There’s more to it than just feeling sad or down. It’s not something you can just “snap out of” or keep your chin up. While a person with depression might try their hardest to keep a positive mindset and look like everything is okay, sometimes they can not control the thoughts that intrude into their minds…things they’d never think about if it wasn’t for this illness.
I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life. I was actually diagnosed with depression when I was ten years old. It’s never been easy and it’s something I’ve felt ashamed of. Some times, I can handle it, no issues, no stress, no worry. Other times, it’s overload. One of those moments where it seems as if everything is hitting you at once, or you just can’t get your head above water.
This Winter has been a horrible one when it came to my mental health and the physical health definitely didn’t help anything. First came dealing with a miscarriage and continued bleeding issues after. Having fibromyalgia, my body seems to have NO pain tolerance and I found myself constantly microwaving a heat pack to try and find comfort.
Add in a child sick to the point of needing hospitalization and you’re sure to have a worry wart mind frame. This Winter I can say my mental health and grip on depression and anxiety have been horrible. Even when I’ve told myself to focus on the positives, the negative thoughts, worry, panic would take control.
I’m at a point now where I’m in catch up mode in every aspect of my life. I’ve fallen behind and now I’m working to make a game plan to get back where I need to be. Every day is a struggle when you are fighting your own mind. Sometimes, you really do need to tell yourself to shut up.
The point is keep fighting. Find the support you need, even if it’s just one person you know cares. Don’t give up. Keep going. Push the negative thoughts away and move forward. You are not alone.