A guest post. Sex, Stalking, it all applies.

Hi! If you’re looking for Jenna, she, um, stepped out for a bit. And here I am to take her place! (Sorry. I really hope I don’t suck.)

laurenMy name is Cheryl (just to give you a little background on me) I’m not very creative with my nicknames here on the interwebs. I’m a youngish mother of 2- Lauren who is almost 2.5 and Jillian who is almost 8 months old (but was born 10 weeks premature) I do HAVE a blog, but, I haven’t been updating. No one seems to ever visit. So I thought, “hmmm. Let’s highjack Jenna’s blog! She gets traffic! And then some people could be updated on me and my boring life!!” So, you know. If you have a second or two, feel free to drop by for a cup of coffee. I like me some good coffee.

So I told Jenna I would talk about the dreaded s-e-x. How is it for you? Do you have children? Do you have a 2 year old sleeping in your bed? No? well, if you’re looking for a libido killer, everyone should have a 2 year old in their bed. (And no. We really didn’t think co-sleeping was for us. Lauren just decided that she was going to sleep there, and we haven’t had ANY luck getting her outta there. Tips? Suggestions?!) Anyways. Ahem. I digress (I tend to do that a lot. Please just amuse me for a moment, ok?!)

Now. Hubs and I have been together for almost 9 years, and married for almost 4 years. Wow. Time flies when you’re having “fun”. I find that our sex life is “lacking”. Maybe we “did it” too much when we were younger and each other’s firsts?! Or maybe, life gets in the way?!

I feel like I have a libido of a teenage boy. Hubs on the other hand? 80 year old woman. He could really take it or leave it. How bout you? Getting enough? Satisfied? Wandering eyes? Come on. I want to hear it all.

Thankfully we haven’t been walked in on or anything like that. But. I did accidentally have this slip once…Please tell me you’ve all been there. And I’m not just outing myself to the whole world. I farted. ONCE. During sex. Hubs ignored it and then brought it up later. “The incident” in question was probably 2 years ago. And he STILL brings it up.  So, tell me, interwebs, what have YOU done during the deed that  is embarrassing?!

Now. Onto something even more pressing. My name is Cheryl and I have a problem. A slight stalking problem, if you will. My friends will call me and say that such and such happened to them. I reply “yeah, I can read. I saw it on Facebook and/or Twitter” So tell me. Am I the only one who stalks on Facebook/Twitter?! Oh and not to mention blogs. When I’m not updating my own blog, ahem. Sorry. I’ll get better at that because NOW I’ll have readers!! I read 30 different other blogs. I don’t subscribe to a reader, so no one really knows I’m there, unless they do some digging. 😉 Oh and I should mention that when I find a blog that grabs my attention, I read it from the beginning. When I don’t have novels to read (I’m an avid reader…) I read blogs. Someone once commented on the fact that I mustn’t spend time with my children. Oh but I do. It’s just a way to escape the monotony of diapers, Wiggles and never-ending peek-a-boo.

Jenna- quick side note. Thank you for letting me hijack your blog. Here’s hoping I keep up with my end of the deal and update my blog more regularly. Feel free to give me a swift cyber kick in the teeth. 😉

Much love to you all.

Alright all! Go say Hi to Cheryl at The Life and Times and let’s get her blogging!!

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  1. Hi Cheryl! You are not boring at all! In fact you are down right AWESOME for admitting you farted during sex! You go girl! Rip some more! My only sexual mis-hap is caused from multiple pregnancies…my hip…it like dislocates or something…several times EVERYTIME. I have to jump up and shake it off and go back to it. We have grown used to this so it’s all part of the routine now. Headed to your blog now!

  2. OMG. Not So Average Mama Thank you for sharing your story! I seriously laughed outloud when I read that! Keep ’em coming ladies. Anxious to read them all! *I’m also shaking in my boots knowing this is now posted…*

  3. Hey Cheryl,

    I am now stalking you! It’s me Jen. I think if I ever did anything embarassing during sex it was probably when we were doing it in the shower and I fell out of the shower…yes, it really happened. Naked me wrapped up in the shower curtain, howling in pain. Jason thought this was funny (I do now) but at the time I failed to see the humor and didn’t talk to him for a couple of days. So there you have it. My humiliating story wrapped up nicely in cheap plastic from dollarama. 🙂
    Give the girls love for me.
    Love Aunty Jen

  4. Farting during sex isn’t soo bad (although I get terribly embarrassed and distracted). I’ve done it a couple of times during strong orgasms and I just blame it on the hubby…haha. I tell him his performance is just too good and that makes me lose control of my body, works like a charm.

  5. Hi Cheryl! I didn’t think you were boring at all!! I had to laugh at your farting story because it has happened to me in the last month and I tried to pull it off on the bed creaking!! It was a deffinate mood killer for me though! We have unfortunatly been walked in on also by my two year old and mommy was in a very odd position oops!! I don’t think it will be very tramatizing for little man though… Anyways keep writting! Its fun to read everyone elses stories!

  6. So I suppose you want my story too huh since it’s my blog huh?? LOL I’m turning red thinking about this but it’s with an ex of mine. Let’s just say um, he hit a spot and haha I chipped his tooth….OOPS

  7. We’re still trying to get my almost 8 month old to sleep in his crib instead of in the pack n play in our room, and he definitely is a libido killer too!

  8. Sorry about your 2yo libido killer. We’ve been fortunate in that dept. that our kids sleep in their own beds. We did have an incident on the bathroom floor when we were just living together where my husband’s back made a huge farting noise. We laughed and laughed until we cried. We still laugh about it 9 years later.

  9. Cheryl, you are a great writer! You had me interested the whole time! I’m so going to check our your blog. Well, that is if you update it! lol

    Sadly, I’ve never done anything embarrassing in bed! 😕 But we have been walked in on! Opps…mommy gets kinda loud! lol 😉

  10. This is great!

    My embarrassing moment in bed? I fell off the bed, my legs went up so high they almost got tangled on the blinds. I have no idea how that happened. Hubby asked me what I did, he didn’t see either. He just suddenly saw me on the floor.

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