Mommy Jenna

I Hate Fibromyalgia #fibro #spoonie

I hate fibromyalgia.

Imagine losing your life but still being alive. Or maybe imagine the feeling you have when you are sick with the flu. What if that pain never went away? 

As I’ve had to see more than my share of IVs, injections, this pill or that pill, it’s easy to feel worthless. I can also tell you there’s not enough fibromyalgia resources out there.

I was going to school for a career in law enforcement. Aside from the obvious jokes some would make about donuts and so on, you can not deny the physical demands of such a career. But yet, the idea of it all, helping others, putting the pieces together, making a difference, it all would have been worth it. I went from having this goal to the bottom of the totem pole, a gimp as I politely call myself. (I bet my Grandma could run laps around me)

Many people around me, close to me, do not understand fibromyalgia at all.

This rain gives me fibromyalgia.

Suck it up.

Oh, you always hurt.

I would do ANYTHING to have the life I was going for back. As I told a nurse today, if there’s ever a clinical trial to CURE fibromyalgia, I’ll be first in line. I don’t care if I lose my hair as some awkward side effect.

I want to live my life with freedom, not attached to the weight that is Fibromyalgia.

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2 comments

  1. Oh Jenna! God love ya! So many people just DON’T understand this condition at all, like any of us who suffer from it understand it any better.

    I’ve had people say, ‘I’m not going to let MY disease stop me.’ Yeah, okay, that’s why we’re Individuals.

    I have an extremely low pain tolerance from Hashimoto’s, exacerbated by the fibromyalgia and recently my left upper arm bursitis has been flaring.

    This condition also comes with insomnia so half the time I don’t know which shift I’m working anymore! I do consider myself fortunate in that I was able to get social security disability after I lost my last three jobs due to these yet-undiagnosed conditions. It really messes with your self-confidence and self-esteem when you keep getting fired! The last temp agency I worked for simply said ‘We can’t send you on any more interviews, honey. You’re a liability.’ Fortunately, though, the woman I was working with was so caring and understanding. She filled out the employer forms for the SSD application without blinking an eye.

    Rain, sleet, snow, hail and humidity keep me indoors most of the time. I don’t travel well. I’d just rather stay home. My computer is my world – well – that and my husband and my kids who have finally come to understand mom isn’t how she used to be!

    Rather a lengthy comment, but this one just hit home at the right time, I guess.

    Enjoy your Christmas holidays!!

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